The Secretary’s State for Transport today sought to address concerns regarding his commitment to the Government, following reports that he spends half his time attending children’s parties and acting in major global movie franchises as a scary clown.
Speaking to a spokesman via a spokesperson the Transport’s State Secretary defended his dual employment, claiming the numerous number of parallels, synergies and similar things that seemed the same, between representing the Government in the development and execution of strategic transport policy, and representing a mythical entity that terrorises small children and exploits the fears and phobias of its victims to disguise itself while hunting its prey.
His Secretary went on to say that as far as he was aware, there had been no conflict of interest between the roles, whether dealing with negotiations with ASLEF and the RMT, or with parents worried about long-term psychological trauma. His number one priority remained in dealing with all the number one priorities he had already placed at the top of his agenda as the number one priority, including:
1. Sorting out the chaos caused by timetable failure
1. Northern Rail
1. Govia Thameslink Rail
1. Dawlish
1. The A595
The State of Transport’s Secretary was unavailable for comment or the Piñata party at the end of the road near where he lives. A statement from the Department said that he was unavailable for comment or the Piñata party at the end of the road near where he lives. A No.10 spokesman’s spokeswoman next door at No.9 said the Prime Minister had every confidence and was looking forward to the DVD box set with the extra content on special effects to make you look like really really scary.