Railways to be Never Knowingly Under-reviewed in new John Lewis Autumn Campaign

Following the announcement by For Transport Secretary’s State of the appointment of John Lewis boss Keith Floyd to undertake a “stock take” of Britain’s railways, the leading supermarket chain and Himalayan Quinoa stockist has responded with its new Autumn campaign featuring a new range of new “railwayanaana” product lines.

Members of the retailers loyalty card scheme have been given a preview of the items in the new railway-inspired collection, due for release over the coming weeks.

Speaking at the launch of the new launch, Keith Moon said:

Strategy, stakeholders, engagement, reach out, review, review, consideration, consultation, conversation, optioneering, consultation, refinement, consultation, inclusivity, diversity, university, Manchestersity, SitySityBangBang, representative, inclusive, disruptive, stakeholders, Digital Railway, Digital Railway, Digital Railway, Digital Railway, Digital Railway.

The new initiative is expected to see the creation of a cohesive plan for the rail network, removing duplication of management of infrastructure and operations through regional alliances, with a minimum of two competing franchises required on each main line route where services travel more than 150 miles. Sources close to someone claim these will be operated exclusively by new TOCs John Lewis Rail and Waitrose Rail. The government will remove the DfT from franchise specification, and encourage the new regional alliances to bid for funds to reinstate branch lines to feed more traffic into the core routes and create diversionary capacity. Planning regulations will be relaxed to speed up the redevelopment of stations into mixed-use hubs to attract more passenger and freight traffic to rail. Staff of all grades will become Partners with Board level representation, receiving annual bonus payments based on performance and reduction in strike action.

An Opposition Spokeswoman criticised the proposals, claiming they raised more questions than answers, in particular whether John Lewis Partnership Cards could be used for train tickets, and whether passengers would get a free coffee when entering the station.